-My social circle consists of four or five guys. Some single to mingle. Some chained & strained. I am the "Go To" friend. The one everyone comes to when they're either in a rut..need a "pick me up"..or just need someone to vent to. Today was a busy day for me. Ultra busy actually..I had to wake up at 7a..had a meeting at 8:30a with yet another Financier..from 8:30a until about 12:30p, I ripped and ran to and from different buildings down in the business district..wearing black skinny jeans,this Calvin Tran striped shirt,under a brown & grey wool blazer..pointy toed brogues..ultra pointed black shoe with a hard sole,of course and my extra heavy carry-all..
(contents: 6 magazines,2 books,a notebook,agenda,2 wallets,vitamins, a water bottle,fragrance bottle and 2 pairs of sunglasses..shut up.)
So,I had a pretty "heavy" day..It was interesting,because my mom kept nagging me, asking if my feet were ok..of course,I was fine..I answered,"Just like,ladies walk around in 5 inch heels,effortlessly..this is what I do." Lol,Beauty is pain..there's no doubt about that. Anyway,after the b.s. meetings,I had a skincare appointment at 1:40p..so,we run over to StarFucks, grab a Chai Latte and head to Calvin's office..for a FOTOfacial..$190 bucks..(worth it.)
--After this two hour relaxation period,we're hungry and we stop into "Dress It", a great little restaurant to have a burger..I order my favorite cranberry and almond salad with warm goats cheese and a fattening coke..my mom orders a medium well steak and a baked potato..I opted against it..but,you know,that's what she wants..she's treating, so why bitch? Right. Anyway, I come home..kick my shoes off..grab the computer and sign on to yahoo msgr..what do I get? Msgs from two friends..both dealing with relationship turmoil. What a crock (sigh)?
Friend #1: Eli, the top in the relationship,feels his significant other is cheating. Interesting. I'm Dr. Phil or Oprah..maybe Tyra..Idk..I ask for details. He explains,he was sitting at the computer to do some work..he heard the boyfriends computers instant msgs going off..
(hmm....someone didn't sign out,properly!)
So,he reads the msgs and there it was. Msgs and a vulgar picture share. Interesting. Eli is a professional.Restaurateur-to-be. So,he travels alot and feels his partner should feel so lucky to be with him..because he's well taken care of..showered with luxurious gifts and travels..and drives one of Eli's two vehicles..But,apparently that's not enough for said "lover".. I ask if he's affectionate..does he meet the needs..he tells me they're relationship seemed "fine".
Of course, it's a wonderful subject to speak on,because I'd just watched Oprah on yesterday and it was focusing on infidelity. So,I feel I have a little insight on this sort of thing..besides,everyone feels they can speak to me,because I've been through this soo many times. I used to feel ridiculed when asked for advice on that subject, but we can't always feel attacked..especially, when we work in an industry where most of our clients need our help (winks).
So,I explain to Eli that this is common with relationships..mostly prominent in the gay community. It's going to happen. More than likely,when asked about the photo's he's going to respond by saying,"I took them for you",which will be a lie obviously,because you'd never received them. I personally would have broken his computer..especially if it was purchased with one of my pennies..so,that's that. You have to go into the situation with an open mind. He's having a long distance relationship with some guy in cyberspace..when you two are both having a relationship that's primarily long distance-i.e.; days away from home,the distant attitude, he has no job..but,he's always ripping and running the streets..it's either you're not doing your job in the boyfriend department properly or dude is simply using you for all you've got. It's simple. Get it together. Is the relationship worth salvaging? Think on it..let me know what you come to.
He answers "ok" with the kiss smiley face..we close our window..(Pop!) Here he is again.. "Why didn't you and I date?" I literally laugh out loud and minimize the window.
Friend #2: Perry. Perry. Perry...My friend Perry is an up & coming model. We became friends in New York..it was interesting. Beautiful in fact,the way the friendship blossomed. He crushed on me at first..but,clearly we were meant to be "sisters"(lol). He's having issues with his boyfriend who received a text msg from another guy saying "Yo,what's good?" He freaks out. He wants to text the guy and try and get him to expose the relationship he shares with the bf. I explain to him,it's not his duty to contact the boy. You confront your man. If the situation gets out of hand where you feel you're not being respected,then you contact the young man and inform him of the "situation" at hand. Hopefully things will be clarified. Of course,it's going to be difficult but,it's nothing major. You went into a relationship with a guy who has fidelity issues and it's not always easy to face the truth..but,it's beneficial beyond belief. You have to do what you have to do for YOU.
I'm sitting here thinking over all the issues I've faced and it's not really as harsh as I figured it would be. I sat fighting the thoughts..trying to prevent going down that road,but it's easier now.
When you're "ok" with yourself..then,you'll find it easier to face hardships and get over them. I look at my circle and I see Carrie,Samantha,Miranda and Charlotte. I, of course,identify with Mrs. Bradshaw,her eclectic fashion sense..her toleration level..how she keeps her private life very private..her yearning for a civil & grounded relationship..her unfulfilling encounters with guys..having dealt off & on with a certain someone..that have driven me to the edge and is forcing me to jump. Samantha would be either Eugie,Darryl or LC..LC's fashion sense...Darryl's no nonsense attitude/behavior.. and how he's free to be sexual and have no remorse or hold any ties to guys..it's just his nature. I'm not judging..it's his/her way of life. Charlotte is Eugie..WHo Charlotte would be,Idk..Miranda is either Eli or Bud.(lol)
-But,it's slowly occurring to me that certain things are meant to be the way they've always been. Some people just aren't relationship people..
I wonder:
Is fidelity a lost kid and unable to be found?
What happened to monogamous relationships? Even in the relationships of Pastors and they're wives,monogamy seems to be absent. That's soo odd to me. I just don't get it.
(contents: 6 magazines,2 books,a notebook,agenda,2 wallets,vitamins, a water bottle,fragrance bottle and 2 pairs of sunglasses..shut up.)
So,I had a pretty "heavy" day..It was interesting,because my mom kept nagging me, asking if my feet were ok..of course,I was fine..I answered,"Just like,ladies walk around in 5 inch heels,effortlessly..this is what I do." Lol,Beauty is pain..there's no doubt about that. Anyway,after the b.s. meetings,I had a skincare appointment at 1:40p..so,we run over to StarFucks, grab a Chai Latte and head to Calvin's office..for a FOTOfacial..$190 bucks..(worth it.)
--After this two hour relaxation period,we're hungry and we stop into "Dress It", a great little restaurant to have a burger..I order my favorite cranberry and almond salad with warm goats cheese and a fattening coke..my mom orders a medium well steak and a baked potato..I opted against it..but,you know,that's what she wants..she's treating, so why bitch? Right. Anyway, I come home..kick my shoes off..grab the computer and sign on to yahoo msgr..what do I get? Msgs from two friends..both dealing with relationship turmoil. What a crock (sigh)?
Friend #1: Eli, the top in the relationship,feels his significant other is cheating. Interesting. I'm Dr. Phil or Oprah..maybe Tyra..Idk..I ask for details. He explains,he was sitting at the computer to do some work..he heard the boyfriends computers instant msgs going off..
(hmm....someone didn't sign out,properly!)
So,he reads the msgs and there it was. Msgs and a vulgar picture share. Interesting. Eli is a professional.Restaurateur-to-be. So,he travels alot and feels his partner should feel so lucky to be with him..because he's well taken care of..showered with luxurious gifts and travels..and drives one of Eli's two vehicles..But,apparently that's not enough for said "lover".. I ask if he's affectionate..does he meet the needs..he tells me they're relationship seemed "fine".
Of course, it's a wonderful subject to speak on,because I'd just watched Oprah on yesterday and it was focusing on infidelity. So,I feel I have a little insight on this sort of thing..besides,everyone feels they can speak to me,because I've been through this soo many times. I used to feel ridiculed when asked for advice on that subject, but we can't always feel attacked..especially, when we work in an industry where most of our clients need our help (winks).
So,I explain to Eli that this is common with relationships..mostly prominent in the gay community. It's going to happen. More than likely,when asked about the photo's he's going to respond by saying,"I took them for you",which will be a lie obviously,because you'd never received them. I personally would have broken his computer..especially if it was purchased with one of my pennies..so,that's that. You have to go into the situation with an open mind. He's having a long distance relationship with some guy in cyberspace..when you two are both having a relationship that's primarily long distance-i.e.; days away from home,the distant attitude, he has no job..but,he's always ripping and running the streets..it's either you're not doing your job in the boyfriend department properly or dude is simply using you for all you've got. It's simple. Get it together. Is the relationship worth salvaging? Think on it..let me know what you come to.
He answers "ok" with the kiss smiley face..we close our window..(Pop!) Here he is again.. "Why didn't you and I date?" I literally laugh out loud and minimize the window.
Friend #2: Perry. Perry. Perry...My friend Perry is an up & coming model. We became friends in New York..it was interesting. Beautiful in fact,the way the friendship blossomed. He crushed on me at first..but,clearly we were meant to be "sisters"(lol). He's having issues with his boyfriend who received a text msg from another guy saying "Yo,what's good?" He freaks out. He wants to text the guy and try and get him to expose the relationship he shares with the bf. I explain to him,it's not his duty to contact the boy. You confront your man. If the situation gets out of hand where you feel you're not being respected,then you contact the young man and inform him of the "situation" at hand. Hopefully things will be clarified. Of course,it's going to be difficult but,it's nothing major. You went into a relationship with a guy who has fidelity issues and it's not always easy to face the truth..but,it's beneficial beyond belief. You have to do what you have to do for YOU.
I'm sitting here thinking over all the issues I've faced and it's not really as harsh as I figured it would be. I sat fighting the thoughts..trying to prevent going down that road,but it's easier now.
When you're "ok" with yourself..then,you'll find it easier to face hardships and get over them. I look at my circle and I see Carrie,Samantha,Miranda and Charlotte. I, of course,identify with Mrs. Bradshaw,her eclectic fashion sense..her toleration level..how she keeps her private life very private..her yearning for a civil & grounded relationship..her unfulfilling encounters with guys..having dealt off & on with a certain someone..that have driven me to the edge and is forcing me to jump. Samantha would be either Eugie,Darryl or LC..LC's fashion sense...Darryl's no nonsense attitude/behavior.. and how he's free to be sexual and have no remorse or hold any ties to guys..it's just his nature. I'm not judging..it's his/her way of life. Charlotte is Eugie..WHo Charlotte would be,Idk..Miranda is either Eli or Bud.(lol)
-But,it's slowly occurring to me that certain things are meant to be the way they've always been. Some people just aren't relationship people..
I wonder:
Is fidelity a lost kid and unable to be found?
What happened to monogamous relationships? Even in the relationships of Pastors and they're wives,monogamy seems to be absent. That's soo odd to me. I just don't get it.
My baby's name is Fidelity..have you seen him?
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