DOES LOVE AND TRUST GO HAND IN HAND OR PLAY AGAINST EACH OTHER?
I've asked a total of 30 people and all of them responded with the same answer,they say "Play against". Which is interesting because in order to have a solid relationship you need to have trust and to have a lasting relationship you need to love the other,do you not? It's pretty difficult,isn't it?. Imbalanced. Hard to understand. Someone says,"you can love someone,but may not trust them due to your level of insecurity". Some go into an area I'm familiar with-You may love someone, often times something is done to eradicate trust along with it's chances of being regained. Truth,at it's core.
My friend,Du Jon says, "One needs the other,I can't have a boyfriend,I can't trust. Think of it,J. I need to trust you to tell you my deepest,darkest passion or vices. I must love you to be comfortable with you for you to see me vulnerable. I love this topic!" I truly agree with him only because of what I've been taught a relationship is suppose to based on. Honesty & Trust, first. Passion & Love. We often find ourselves in situations where we want to trust the other, but find it impossible when,in order to maintain a healthy relationship we NEED to trust the other. I've been asked time and time again by DJ,"How can you love me,if you say you don't trust me?" It's hard to explain. I know..trust me. And,if you're currently dealing with a situation as such,I understand where you are emotionally & mentally. Emotionally paralyzed. Mentally strapped. I know,where you're going. If you're anything like,me..I know,how long it'll take you to obtain the level of trust you need and desire. I'm still taking what they call "baby steps"..it's been 3 yrs.
Another response from Steve:
"They play against one another because the more you love someone the more jealous you become. Most of the time,it's not your partner..it's you." Agree? Disagree? I don't know. I had sometime to think on this..at first,I agreed..then,after discussing it with DuJon,he reminded me that love is not jealous..so,what do we do,now?
-- As I said before,I'm currently dealing with this sort of thing. While with DJ, I've been lied to. Cheated on. Lied to some more. Which of course,led me to drink from the the "distrusting river" guiding me further & deeper to lie to him as a way to get revenge. Lying for NO reason. Only because I felt the need to do unto him, as he'd done unto me. It was beautiful. Revenge is one of my "best-est" friends! If you haven't met her,it's a must!
Any who, I feel when two people are in love,they aren't necessarily to be inseparable-though that may be one's desire. I want my guy to think of me constantly. Desire me,profusely. Be super affectionate,but not to where I'm being suffocated. I want civility in my romantic life,but of course,I need him to want the same. It's seemingly hard to find especially in the gay community. Men aren't viewed as monogamous or in touch with their emotions. Which create imaginary margins. For example,when two immature insecure beings come together and try to form a union trust becomes an issue. Jealousy becomes an issue. Love becomes an even bigger issue-"you don't love me,as much as I love you"..or "you don't need me as much as I need you". A saying I know all too well.. We've all encountered these trying times,but what can we do to resolve the issues we face? How do we trust "easier"? Love less hard? Or better yet, how do we bring these two to a level where there's a mutual understanding and respect for one an other's wishes and expectations? Idk..
How do we make it work?
No one knows.
But,who will put in the damn work to find out?
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