Suffering Succotash!

The last 24 or 36 hours have been spent lying in bed..in and out of sleep in a bed soaked with sweat. A throat so sore,you would think,it hated me..A headache soo severe,you would think my brain was about to explode. My body aches like I've been working out (which I haven't in a month or so..).

The effin' flu..

Like,now..I'm sitting at the bar,fully clothed..drenched with sweat running down my back,chest,stomach and forehead. Thank God for my immune system fighting for it's right,lol. I'm suffering. You can't imagine my discomfort..last night,the coughing began. The painful..scrunch my face to recover type of cough,you know? My hair looks an absolute mess and what's funny is that I don't give a shit. My nail polish is chipped and peeling..and I don't give a flying shit. I just want to lie in bed and sweat this shit away..and when I'm better,I'll head to the salon and get my shit together,lol. Maybe I'll go later,that may make me feel better..

OK. A lot of these blogs,I write for feedback and since I get hardly any..besides Steve..I'll throw a few things out there..JayLee has been MIA..that's my number one commentator. I love her thoughts and I value her opinion and it's funny,because I haven't known her for very long but,she's talented beyond belief and she sees things other people can't see. So,I need that type of visionary in my circle.

-It's soo amazing how I speak things into existence. I have perfect timing. I don't know,if it's an anointing or what..because I feel sometimes like,I'm a psychic..lol..or even capable of prophesying..After that brutal break up speech..that "I'm letting it go" speech,I get a phone call from DJ on last night. He opens with an improper salutation "what up,I know you're mad at me,so just say what you have to say.." With this voice of a child, trying to remain in my good graces. I explained that I wasn't mad. And,that I had nothing to say. I'm currently under the weather,I'm not going to argue nor will I stress myself out,only making my situation worse. I gave him his opportunity to explain and it was sort of a foolish act. And,normally,I wouldn't forgive him..I forgave him. Not because I'm naive. I can't stress enough,how I lack the time to continue the bullshit. You're a grown man, my nigga. That's how I see it..so,to be with me you should endure all drastic measures,just as I would do in order to get to you. Often times,I see that he doesn't need me the way I feel I need him. It's difficult to digest but,you know..it's what happens. He's a man. He doesn't get into that "mode" very easily..although,it is rather easy for him to show his vulnerable side with tears. Awkward,yes..I know.

But,last night,something in me changed. I sat on the phone calm..not forced. Humbled. Straightforward. Expressing everything on my chest..things,I've reiterated time and time again. Of course,I know when you've done wrong and you were caught,you don't want to continuously be reminded..so,I just said my "peace" and called it an evening. I brought the conversation to a close. And,slept peacefully.

I was able to sleep past 4:33a..I was even able to sleep past 7a..which I'm not always so fortunate to do.
I woke up this morning with a minor situation with my mother,but I paid it no mind. As I said,I don't feel well and I can't afford to make my body feel worst with confrontations and screaming. It's time for all that shit to cease.

Let's just hope,I feel better..I went out and spent 40 dollars on gatorade..ibuprofen..water (that I'll drink room temp)..sea salt to gargle...theraflu..ice packs and magazines..since I'm gonna be in bed for a minute, I may as well entertain myself,right? (lol)

Wish me luck.
Gonna take a nap.