I had a pretty busy day. Had a shopping emergency-which tore me to shreds. A client/friend of mine who's fiance` is a New Orleans rapper had an event to attend so,of course,she called on me to create a look. Of course,I delivered. The thing I love about me is that I always deliver. Regardless of the fact that I woke up at 1am this morning,because I thought I heard a fucking mouse in my room scurrying across my hardwood floor and I couldn't go back to sleep.
She called me at 7am..since she had an early hair appointment,I got up to get dressed..sliding on ultra slim blue jeans (which fit like,leggings)..over sized graphic tee and this black structured jacket..a Dolce sneaker and made my way to her condo. I arrived with make up kits and sketches in hand..toting my always large,always heavy carry all..over sized Gucci frames concealing my bloodshot tired, red eyes..words can't express. I sat on the couch in the living room..and fell comfortably to sleep for an hour or two.
We hit the shops at about 10am..after watching Cadillac Records and Role Model (super,duper funny!) We shopped for probably 6hours..finding 4 looks total..
white v-neck\black dhoti pants\python ankle strap platform shoes\denim vest\5 strand gold necklace..gold Armani watch
black dress with printed ruffle detail along the hem\black leather belt with large gold buckle detail to cinch waist\white platform sandal with ankle strap\black leather bomber\diamond pendant
ivory pajama-esque trouser\purple and green python pump\multicolored graphic tee under black Gucci bomber\jewel accordingly
acid wash jeans\white Victorian blouse\black satin vest\leopard Louboutin pump
We head to the salon. She gets hair & make up done (late)..Check in hand.
She's off.
I'm worn out..I swear,I'm worn out.
I come home to a house filled with family. My 4 little cousins,I call them my "little geniuses" (all boys) run to me. Hugs..high fives..low "dap"..they are the highlights of my day.
I lie in bed for a moment and get a call from DJ..and he's informing he's found an place in Jersey City. I,of course,don't want to live in Jersey City..I'm a city boy. I love the city. I don't love living on the outskirts..there is nothing in that area for me. I don't even feel safe when I'm outside of New York...You know? I don't know,it may be a good thing for us. To come home from the chaos and yipe and hype of the city to a quiet neighborhood..Idk..we'll see. So,we've agreed to live together. Make it work the best way we know how. By being together and loving one another. Serving one another...but,most importantly,loving one another the best way we know how. And,I ask,"Are you ready for this?" He answers my question with a question,"Are YOU ready for this?" Of course,I think I am..but,I'm soo afraid of making this house a home and it being broken. Of course,there will be mad temptations..mad situations where we'll fuss and argue,but I'm more than sure it'll be outweighed by the love and affection..the passionate conversations we bring forefront. I know,we can make it work.
So,with that, I was driven me to my "secret place". Deeply contemplating. Anticipating. Excited and nervous at the same time. You can say,I'm a tad apprehensive,truthfully. We've encountered some trials and major hardships in our relationship in the past. But,he's putting forth the effort to prove he's a changed man and he wants to be with me and only me..shit, he's the only one that can handle my treacherous mood swings..that attitude.that bitchiness,he's amused by it,lol..why I don't know,but he loves all that good shit,you know?
He's the only guy I've been with that I have shared every secret with. I've told him things,I would NEVER tell anyone else. And,he loves me still. Everyone doesn't have that. And,I find it awkward that I've watched movies and have been to weddings andhave friends tell me,"I'm marrying my best friend". I would stand in awe,like,"Aw...I want that." But,I've always had it. Hadn't realized it,until now. And,you guys,I love him. I'm no fool. I'm one of the most headstrong motherfuckers you would ever meet and when I say something I mean it..I've told soo many niggas,I'm done..it's over..I'm through..et cetera..et cetera and they wouldn't ever come back..he continues to pursue me,striving to obtain the love we've always dreamed of. And,most of all,he wants me.
Not like,some of these cliche ass relationships most of these kats go into blindly. He wants all of me. Not just so we can have sex and not return my call or break up with me the next day..it's crazy. He wants to make me happy and what's funny,is that I don't even know how to make me happy..besides buying shit. Investing in my wardrobe is what makes me happy. And,I'm speaking of myself..but,to have a man who's intrigued by my style,attitude-let alone,everything about me,invest in my wardrobe..that speaks volumes. But,I don't look to him for that.I'm still here. Hopelessly,in love with him. Loving everything about him and more. How over protective he is of his sisters & mom. How over protective he is of me (rolls eyes). How jealous hearted he is. How his laugh makes me smile and most of all,I love that when I'm smiling,his day is made. So,I went home and prayed on the topic. Asking that I be led in the direction that is most best for he and I.
And,this morning..it was on my mind..Love him beyond his means.
His 6'3 stature. His large clothing. I can't wait to sleep in them..fresh off his back. I can't wait to clunk around in his sneakers...cook him breakfast and dinner in his tee shirt..taste his morning and late night kiss...and actually make love in a house that we're making a home..
Humph! (scratches chin scruff and smiles gleefully)
Maybe my single life is being brought to a close...
And,God knows,I'm ready to be rescued from this dreadful,boring but,ultimately fabulous ritual of dating .
I'm ready to settle down.
P/S
You know,we're gonna need a dog..
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