It's been a cold few days. Not speaking of the weather. I'm speaking of everything that's been going on in the past couple of days. DJ and I came to the understanding that we need a break,especially since I'll be traveling the states..it's so amazing how things happen with the two of us. He's finally coming off the road,I jump on the road..Of course,it's difficult to digest,but realistically,this is what I need.
We held a pretty good conversation last night. Indubitably productive. Everything that held me down in any way,was verbalized, understood and respected. And,in all honesty, dude's can't do shit-you either,respect my mind or it's not for us. So, we hadn't been speaking for almost a week or two..I was into other things,slowly loosening my grasp on the thought of being in a relationship. I think,I've endured as much humiliation that I can handle. They always say,"After humiliation comes elevation", I firmly believe that. I do.
Today was a pretty good day for me,you guys. I woke up this morning,after having brought three years of tumultuous bullshit to an end, feeling refreshed, focused and incredibly light. I began to wonder if it was because I haven't had an appetite in two weeks..of course,I nibble here and there..spending money on fast food,taking two bites and disposing the meal. I haven't had any Red Bulls,I take a shitload of vitamins everyday..[not really a "shitload",it's actually just four; omega,multi,B & E] I woke up at 7am..Tootie and I went for a stroll on our block. Returned home,made coffee,did some straightening up..left out to go for my daily run.
I jogged for an hour..176 crunches..81 push ups. My mom pulls into the driveway,we sit inside have a little breakfast and more DECAF coffee. At about 10am,we decided to go and visit "Big Mama" at the hospital, who,when we arrived-was very coherent,laughing and mimicking my mom. It was a wonderful day. She felt better. Looked better. And,I can see that gleam in her eye. Geezers! I left my mom and grandmother,at the hospital..I headed home,had a bridal consultation at noon..but,on my way to the house to change,I decided to stop at my dad's grave and say "hello". I cried my ass off. I prayed and lifted the unbearable weight off of my shoulders,wiped my face and headed to the meeting feeling much,much better. I must admit.
After the meeting I went over to my friend,Josiah's house..of course,we rolled up and smoked like chimneys do..discussing how I was feeling,discussing how he felt with the guys he's dating..I rejoiced that all that is over. Even the guy I met the other day isn't talking to me. I don't know if it was something I said..or what. At this point,after reaching out..I couldn't care less. But,you know,it's how this "thing" goes. (waves) We went inside-I wish you could see the flooring,the guys he's paying mega bucks to remodel,is putting down. It looks awful.
Absolutely awful. It gives me some kind of..what's that shit called? Um...linoleum tiling. Dreadful. Jo falls asleep on the couch..I sit watching "MILK",then headed home..
As soon as I got home,received a phone call from my sister,asking me to accompany her to an event tonight. I accepted the invite. Wearing exactly what you see on the picture above. Denim vest..white v neck..scarf..Antik jeans..boots..Gucci pouch and my large 54's..I arrived on the set stoned. Ultra stoned. I couldn't make out anything they were saying. I was fucked up. Saw an old friend of the family,Dino from Universal, we sat and chopped it up for about twenty minutes. I wind up getting up,saying my goodbyes and leaving before they cut the cake and sing "happy birthday". I was over it. I really just wanted to be home. I stopped at the magazine stand on Broadway and made it home within twenty minutes.
I don't really have shit to "blog" about.
I'm bored. Stoned. Sitting here on the deck..smoking..
Wrapped up in my mom's handmade blanket from Cozumel.
I'm sleepy..
Good night.
No comments:
Post a Comment